Maralyn's Updates

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Oh Man!

The expression OH MAN! has a fun history in our family.




Already at 3 years old, Reuben talked like a little adult. So when he was telling Uncle Daniel the rules for playing the children’s card game “Go Fish” he said, “…If you don’t draw the card you want, you just say, ‘Oh man!’ then it’s the other person’s turn.”




Then last week Elliana (now 2½) thought her daddy was coming home from his conference the next day. So when she popped out of bed in the morning she began searching through every room of the house. Her mommy didn’t realize what she was up to until Elli finally exclaimed, “Oh man! Where...Daddy?”


Well, yesterday about midday I said it to myself when my internist told me that I have Shingles.

Oh man!

Shingles is a viral infection that causes a painful rash. Evidently this virus lays dormant in your body for years…following childhood Chicken Pox. It resurfaces then--usually in old people. (Smile!) It appeared on my body yesterday as a circle of VERY itchy blisters on my back. Since last Thursday I’ve been having pain and phantom itchiness dancing around the left side of my abdomen—robbing a good share of each night’s sleep. I was wondering if I had a pinched nerve in my back maybe from my scoliosis? But I hadn’t.

It was Shingles.

Oh man!

I don’t know which is worse—the insane itching or the gigantic pills I’m supposed to swallow three times a day for the next seven days.

Oh man!

My dad and brothers would concur that I’ve never been good at taking pills, and Jim would agree that I’m as bad as ever! It’s a real sideshow when I’m trying to swallow pills, and these are the size of horse pills. There’s absolutely no way I would be able to get them down, so I smash them and try to gulp them down in applesauce. It's still hard, though, because the powder is SO bitter. So it’s still not a pretty sight!

Oh man!

One thing I know for sure: I didn’t need Shingles on top of ALS, TMJ, IBS, and A-Fib (Do we have all of the alphabet covered with my diseases? --Smile!)

But as I told the ladies Tuesday night, “We can’t control what lands in our plate…only how we react to it.”

Oh man!

I also saw my neurologist last Thursday and we both agreed that my strength is waning, my walking is less steady, and my talking is more slurred. But then, caring doctor that he is, he reminded me that I’m at the one year mark and that I’m doing amazingly better than most people with Bulbar ALS. Okay, that was encouraging.

Over these next few weeks I will be working with a speech therapist to choose and program my voice machine—the one that will talk for me when I can’t. And soon I’ll be going to a wheel chair clinic to choose my future transportation. I don’t need it yet, but I likely will someday.

These things are hard, especially for a person like me who is an “arranger.” As you can tell from previous posts, I’ve been grappling with my gradual loss of control. The truth about me is that throughout my lifetime I’ve been one who has liked to MAKE things happen…now I’m beginning to learn to just LET things happen.

I’ve enjoyed being a leader…but will I gracefully be able to become a follower?

I’m not sure.

A few weeks ago, my friend Ruth Collins forwarded to me a devotional written by Rick Warren. I love his writing, and this one touched a nerve. His point was that this is not my battle but God’s.

The pivotal scripture was II Chronicles 20:17 (NLT) “But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!”

Here’s part of Warren’s devotional:
“In today’s passage, God is talking to King Jehosphaphat and the Israelites. They’re about to be attacked by three enemies: the Moabites, the Ammonites, and the Meunites. Jehoshaphat had to be worried about how his people could defend themselves in such a battle, but God knew exactly what Jehoshaphat was thinking. He said, ‘You will not have to fight in this battle.’ Now that’s the kind of battle I like! What God tells Jehoshaphat in this passage, and what he would remind us today, is this: ‘The battle is not yours; it’s mine. You don’t have to fight in it.’ In other words, it’s God’s problem. Let him solve it. The fact is if you are God’s child, then your problems are his problems. And he’s much better at fighting your battles and solving your problems than you will ever be. Your job is to trust him to work it all out. Perhaps the reason we have so many tired, fatigued, and discouraged Christians is because we think, ‘It all depends on me.’…”

Warren continues: “Twice in this passage it says, ‘Don’t be afraid,’ and ‘Don’t be discouraged.’ When you face a seemingly impossible situation, don’t be afraid and don’t be discouraged. Has God ever lost a battle? No. He doesn’t lose battles.”

Then he gives some advice to those of us who are trying to fight our own battles:

--Stand firm. In other words, have a mental attitude of quiet confidence. Don’t run away from the problem.

--Be confident. God wants to teach you that in every situation he is sufficient.

--Have faith in the nature and character of God. He’s faithful, and he hasn’t brought you this far to let you down.

--Dig into the Bible. You can count on the promises found in Scripture.

--Stand still. Remember who the battle belongs to. Trust that he is able to deliver you, and then watch him do it!


I’m trying to learn to let go…I really am! And sometimes I’m successful…

BUT...

The phrase in Warren's devotional that jumped out and grabbed me most was this:

“The day you resign as General Manager of the Universe, you’re going to find that it doesn’t fall apart. You can relax in faith, trusting that God is able to run things without your help.”

OH MAN!

10 Comments:

Blogger TurleyVision said...

Just have to tell you that shingles is not just an "old people's" sickness. Our Luke had it when he was 9. I had no idea how contagious it was and sent him off to school anyway. They called me from school about 30 min. later and asked me to please come get him. He never felt very sick with it but had to stay out of school for a week and called it his "shingles vacation".

11:12 AM  
Blogger Eldon said...

We are inspired and challenged by your good spirit. Helps us keep faith and strength for today.
Our Love

Eldon & Kay

11:43 AM  
Blogger jeanne @ Inspiring Ideas said...

Sending hugs!
Bob & Jeanne

4:15 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

Maralyn,

My mom shared your blog with me a few months ago and I've been following your progress ever since. Your perspective on your disease and sense of humor are unique for someone in your situation. Your testimony is a blessing to many, including myself.

I'm happy to hear from "turley" that shingles isn't just an "old people's" sickness. I recently had it too and I don't feel old! My case wasn't too painful - hope yours isn't either! Take good care.

-Your "step-sister" in Colorado - Diane ;-)

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As always, you inspired me to look to the Lord at all times and in all situations. Thanks for sharing your path and process with us.

Love,

Daniel

3:17 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Thanks for your words. It's really touching and helping me to look forward for many situation. You are a woman of God. When I read your blog, I felt that you are still smile. I can see you in my spirit. May God's peace be with you in this situation and may God hold your body, spirit, and soul above this hard time.
Love in Christ
Manop, Mam, and Ken

3:24 AM  
Blogger Jonathan Newton said...

Dear Maralyn,
What you just wrote proves that you are not merely a follower. You are and will always remain a leader. Because even if your body fades away, the leadership that resides in your spirit, soul, head, mental capacities, never will. Your diseases may attack your body, but your inner woman remains unaffected. And the leadership you have just demonstrated simply by writing these few lines proves my point.
Reading your post, I was reminded of Stephen Hawking, whose ALS has rendered him into becoming pretty much - pardon the blunt expression - a brain in a wheelchair. But what a brain! Generally considered to be the most intelligent person alive - and by some the most intelligent person ever to have been alive - he insists that his ailments have been a blessing in such a way that they have forced him out of life's other chores and given him time enough to think. Which has led to revolutionary insights.
Your strength does not lie in muscles and tendons that one day will become worm's food as it will for all the rest of us as well; ALS or no ALS, it's just a matter of time for everyone of us. Your strength is in the personality you are.
And in continuing to communicate things from out of that, you have today blessed me and encouraged me by what you wrote, in the issues I face at present.
Thank you for continuing to write, and be blessed knowing that God - the God of the present, for His name is I AM !! - is using you right now to perhaps touch more lives around the world than ever before!
In Christ,
Jonathan Newton

2:14 AM  
Blogger Phil Steiger said...

I just wanted to let you know that Living Sprngs in Colorado Springs prayed for you yesterday morning in service, and we will keep on praying!

10:09 AM  
Blogger Helen said...

Dear Maralyn,

We, Marko and I (Helen) have followed your struggle with your sickness and its simptoms. We admire your positive attitude and we can see how during this long earthly journey, you are searching peace in God's Love and Mercy, the purpose for life at this time.

You and Jim our daily in our thoughts.

Since 2.6.08 I am a nurse in a small hospital where I care for an ALS patient, whose ALS symptoms have rapidly (in 3 months) put her in bed for good. She's just waiting to die, that her lungs fail down. It is so difficult to communicate with her. Her mind is so sharp... Does she know about God's Love and Mercy?

I am amazed how God has not permited your state to go worse quickly. God has surely for You a plan with your disease. Maybe to reach more people who desperatly need God's Grace, Love and Mercy or to give you something you need through this struggle.

Dear Maralyn, I myself struggle to keep my faith in God. I've lost so many family members within 10months. I cried out so many times "why?"

My physical condition is not very good and to a nurse, it means that I will have problem to continue working in the ward.

I feel ashame for not struggling enough and I have failed so many times to turn toward God, to bring my burdens to Jesus. I can't even find the strength to pray. I am so tired, lonely and in a way depressed.

I wish that one day I will understand what God wants from me, for me.

I thank You for your positive attitude toward life and God. Your are a model to me.

God bless You Maralyn, Jim and your Family

Sincerely Helen
helen.silvanhalttunen@gmail.com

2:25 PM  
Blogger Suchi said...

Thanks for the encouraging words and also reminding that we need to allow God to take control.

I liked what you shared from Rick Warrens devotional - to step down from being the Manager of the Universe.

2:44 PM  

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